The day I went to lunch

Blogged on Tuesday 08th April 2008 at 01:12pm with 4 Comments

As I was getting off the escalator at the tube station this morning, a poster on the wall caught my eye. "If you don't like your life, you can change it".

For some reason this simple statement, something which I've told myself before many times and other people, really struck a chord with me. As I came out of the station and started my ten minute walk to work, I kept thinking about that poster. I know I'm not as happy as I should be at moment, mainly due to work. I'm trying to change my situation at work using various methods but I think part of my problem is that even if I do change it to my liking, I would still never "be happy". Happy in the respect as that poster implies. Life happy.

Lunch time came around and I left the office for some fresh air fully intending to take a walk and feel better. As I was heading down the street I heard someone talking. I didn't look around, mainly because the name they called wasn't mine. But they kept talking anyway and I continued to ignore them. I eventually turned to my side and noticed they were walking at my pace and asking me why I wasn't responding. A bit surprised, I said because I didn't think they were talking to me.

Moment over right? No. The guy asked why I was being stand offish. In all honesty, I was being like that. I don't like strangers coming up to talk to me; especially when I'm by myself and in a bad mood. So I said I wasn't being stand offish and if they got that impression then I'm sorry but this is just the way I am.

The guy then says I don't walk like I'm stand offish, in fact I seemed to be walking as if I'm an honest, open, out going person. This really surprised me. If this guy didn't have my attention before, he had it now. Really, I'm a nice person. I'd like to think so. I can be the most funniest, out goingist person on the planet. But catch me at a time when I don't feel like being social and I become completely introverted. Walls go up, humour becomes sarcastic and all I care about is revelling in all my not-so-nice thoughts. So why was I giving off mixed signals? I wasn't happy, I didn't feel like being friendly to anyone; I just wanted to walk off my bad thoughts and get a little exercise at the same time. But someone noticed that I didn't just want that. I actually did want to talk. I did want to feel better. So I allowed him to continue walking with me down the street (I didn't run off into the nearest shop or tell him to fuck off and try someone else).

He told me his name was Roy. My original plan was to go get a sandwich and sit in a nice green area in London (those places do exist) for the next half hour or so and wallow. But then he asked me if I wanted to go get a sandwich and talk. So I did.

All my life, from a child, I've been told not to talk to strangers; that men that come up and talk to you are only after one thing. That bad things can happen. I've had my fair share of "weirdoes" - I can say that with no false modesty. There are times in a girl's life that men (and women) will talk to you and say things just so they can get what they want. These people I try and avoid. When some random person starts talking to you on the train and then begins rubbing himself up against you, you shout at, tell them to fuck off (well I did anyway) and then leave the vicinity.

But this guy, he didn't seem like that type of weirdo. And my alarms bells didn't ring quite so loudly as all those times before. So when he asked me if I wanted to go and get a sandwich with him, I agreed.

Everyone is a stranger before you meet them. Sometimes you meet people in "normal" circumstances, school, work etc. Sometimes you meet them in a "putting yourself out there" situation, clubs, pubs and chat rooms. Sometimes you take that initial meeting further and start to network with them, arrange to meet up offline, go for a second date or meeting or whatever. But very rarely do you (rare for me at least) decide to go get a sandwich with someone you have just spoken to on the street for the first time no more than two minutes prior.

So we went to Prêt and I bought a sandwich and Roy got some over-priced fruit. And we sat outside and ate and talked for a bit. He asked me about myself, what I do, where I'm from, what I'm like. And I answered as much as I felt comfortable with. And I asked him about what he does (he's a nutritionist who used to do theatre and wants to get back into it) and what he's like. And you know what? By the end of our little impromptu lunch I felt 100% better. He made me laugh and smile - not because of what he was saying to me as such; just because he went out of his way to talk to me and find about me as a person. Not because I asked, or gave off intentional signals, not because I begged or cried or shouted about how crap I was feeling inside; but because as one human being to another, he made the decision to make a connection and I made the decision to take it.

After our little chat and lunch, he walked me to the end of the high street and said goodbye. I will probably never see that man again. I only know his name and a little bit about the sort of person he is. But for that one afternoon he has left me with an ever lasting memory to think back on and smile about. And to show my appreciation, I'm sharing my story with everyone. Because no matter how shit you feel, it only takes one person to make a difference. And to that one person, a difference can mean the world.

If you don't like your life, you can change it. Or at least let someone make you smile.

The comments

Wow, you're more daring than me. If some weirdo - sorry, stranger - came up to me on the street and started talking like that, I'd probably batter him. Or I'd be looking around for a camera from one of those "hilarious" wind up shows

I have a moment like that I shall never forget. A year or so ago when i split up with the ex I went up to Lancaster one weekend to see a mate at uni. On the train back every seat was taken so I sat on my suit case in the doorway bit. And this guy stumbled past me on his way to the toilet he asked if the toilet was this way so I answered and I think he may have said something his way past back to his seat anyway. Minutes later he was back (slightly worse for wear I found out he'd been to Blackpool on a stage weekend and was on his way back to London). Anyway he started chatting to me we chatted absolute bollocks and I had such a laugh. It really picked me up as I was finding it hard getting over the ex. He was a nice bloke (but then i do have a thing for the London accent anyway ) we swapped numbers and txt a few times but when I changed my number I never forwarded it to him. Anyway yeah that was a right random moment and the guy was just soo funny!!

I wouldn't like to think of myself as daring; just open to new opportunities.

Emma, I think you should have married that guy who you met on the train. It would have made an excellent story for the children. "Yes, I met your father outside a toilet on a train."

Very romantic

Reply

LOL yes sadly he wasnt that good looking i wasnt that attracted to him or I might have stayed in touch, maybe I should have though cause he did make me laugh and you can never have too many mates that can do that.

Have your say

Comments are automatically closed after 60 days of when the blog was originally posted. If you wish to comment on a closed blog, please contact Teesee directly instead.