Bugging me

Blogged on Friday 12th June 2009 at 07:04pm with 3 Comments

Weird, disgusting moment...

I was in the bathroom and as you'd probably not wish to imagine, I was on the toilet - going wee. I was about to do the decent thing and dab myself dry with my Puppy on a roll, when some inner voice screamed at me to look at the toilet paper in my hand.

Eugh. I feel sick just thinking about it. On the side I was about to "dab" myself with, was the nastiest fucking bug I'd ever seen. It even beats that Spider I posted a photo of last year.

I came that close to smearing that bugger all over my nether regions. Lucky escape or what? I'm just not sure if it was for me or the bug?

No photo this time, flushed that fucker straight down the toilet

Too many books, so little space.

Blogged on Saturday 16th May 2009 at 06:33pm with 7 Comments

Today I acheived something I've been threatening to do for the last few months - run out of bookshelf space! (And possibly money too...)

So I did what any desperate reader would do - I joined the local library. I admit it's been a few years since I've been a member of one. The last time was when I was still at secondary school; I even think I still owe them a book... anyway.

I joined. Eventually. Their "fangled" online joining system - which basically requires you to print off the completed application form after filling it in online and THEN take it down to the library. Quite why it's called an ONLINE application I have no idea considering you have to take it down there.

So after showing them more I.D than perhaps is probably necessary (the last time I had such a severe security check was when I applied for an airport security pass...) I was finally free to peruse those coveted books.

It seems the last time the library updated their stock of books was when my Grandma last visted - and she's been dead for the last 15 years! I finally found the fiction section (it was labelled FICTION - obviously) but wait. What's that? The books weren't in English. I went through Tamil, Chinese, Hindi, French... and then finally English. There were more gaps between books than there are on the Underground system. Seriously, have the local council never heard of putting back into the local community - i.e. the library?

In the end I settled on a classic, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë and The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood - the latter which I recently wrote a review on for work despite having never read it! That's the downside to working for this new bookshop company, they don't allow you to take the books home to read. How am I supposed to understand and ultimately sell the "products" if I don't know what they are?

I'm tempted to do some local fundraising for the library just so they can get decent books in. Or just books in. I'm not fussy.

End note: I had to resist the urge to properly sort the books on the shelves. Working in a bookshop automatically trains you to spot an incorrectly filed book. There were a lot of them. I almost cried.

May already.

Blogged on Saturday 02nd May 2009 at 02:03am with 2 Comments

I'll spare you the excuses. It's May; I seemed to have been sucked into that little hole called obscurity. So let me break free and blog something.

Things that are wrong with the world today #1: Swine flu - do I really want to look at Michael Jackson impersonators with their anti-flu masks on at the airport? No. You just look stupid and I can't hear what you're saying. We're not going to die. It's not an epidemic. Calm the hell down people. Remember SARS anyone? No of course not.

Things that are wrong with the world today #2: Twilight. Ok, ok, ok. I've read the books (all four of them) and I've sold about a bazillion of them at work. But really? I don't get it. My colleague summed it up best: It's a vampire love story.

That's it. Vampire. Love story. And the love doesn't even have a point. The main character, Bella, forms a completely irrational (not saying that love is ever rational) bond to a super oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-die hot vampire (Edward) and well, that's it. Several times whilst reading I was constantly thinking to myself: why does she love him? Why would she effectively want to give up life itself to spend an eternity with him? What's the fucking point? The whole series seemed very anti-climatic.

There were the obvious angst ridden themes, love triangles (pah, there's that L word again), relationship dramas and the like. But there was no substance to the story. I didn't feel like I wanted to be Bella. Or that I wanted what she had. The whole thing felt completely superficial, unobtainable and severely lacking in realism - which I suppose is a good thing since it's a VAMPIRE story. But even if you remove that element of it, you'd still be left with a two-dimensional character. I could continue to pick this series to pieces and probably will; but since this is supposed to be a short sypnopsis of what is wrong with the world, I'll leave it here. Still, it gives me hope that if people can and will buy into a story with no obvious substance, plot or meaning, then they will sure as hell buy my story (when it's finished of course.)

That being said... I did enjoy the film.

Things that are wrong with the world today #3: Leaving for work at 5am and it being daylight outside. It's weird. My body becomes confused and wants to go back to bed. Stupid, stupid early starts. A lie in for me now consists of anything over 6am. I remember when a lie in used to be anything over 12pm.

Things that are right with the world today #1: Not to be all negative (because I don't complain in real life as much as I do here) - I'm going to show off my British heritage now - the weather!! Hasn't it been quite simply lovely recently? Despite me being ill for a few days during the nice days, I've been enjoying the rays. I'm excited for Summer this year and that IS something amazing as I usually long for the autmun nights and winter days.

Things that are right with the world today #2: I received a signed photo from the two main stars of a television series I run fansite for, personally thanking me for my support, and it completely made my week. It was unexpected and very welcome. It's nice to be appreciated.

Things that are right with the world today #3: I have a lot of good days out to look forward in the coming weeks: the soonest being tomorrow. Paul and I are going on a picnic. There is a gorgeous little town near where I live called Richmond; it has a hill (named Richmond hill no less) that you simply need to sit on with a nice cold beverage. It's right by the Thames and never fails to amaze me that there is a nice view to be observed, even within a city.

And it seems I have my weekends permanently back (i.e. not working those days) which is always nice. Routine isn't something that should be taken for granted even when the repetivness of it can become quite tedious. It's nice to have structure.

What are your plans for the coming months?

Today...

Blogged on Friday 24th April 2009 at 04:41pm with 5 Comments

My throat feels like sandpaper and my nose is blocked better than a public toilet.

Just thought I'd share

Plot, what plot?

Blogged on Friday 17th April 2009 at 11:37pm with 6 Comments

Wow, April already huh? Time seems to have passed by without sparing me a second thought. Which isn't very nice considering it's supposed to be my constant companion and all. So what have I been doing? Nothing particularly exciting, working; for that company. It's not so bad; so long as I remember that the people I'm serving are actual human beings and not some dimtwatted-fuckwitted-imbecilic-morons who insist on making my working life a misery. I'm sure they are lovely people outside of the airport; at least this is what I tell myself to get me through the day.

I don't know what it is, but as soon as they pass over that little threshold called security, something happens. Humanity gets screened and left on landside. We're left with an empty shell; devoid of all traits that made them, well, human. Gone is the understanding. Gone is the politetness. Gone is the compassion. Gone is the humour. Hell, I'd settle for a blimin' smile but they can't even give me that.

But enough about work. What have I really been up too? I've been escaping into that glorious little world called reading; where anything can happen (and usually does.) I've read about... maybe fifteen books in as many days. And I enjoy it, I really do. But since I've been writing my own story (55,000+ words and counting so far), I've found I can spot a plot a mile off. Which sort of ruins the whole point in reading.

Take this evening for example. I went out, bought a book, hadn't even finished the first chapter and I already knew the ending and the bits in between. It's like watching the Sixth Sense for the first time and then having your friend spoil the ending for you just as it begins. Bloody pointless and downright annoying. This is why I go to the cinema alone. I finished the book about five hours later... and yeah, ended just how I thought. Can I get a refund on a book for being disappointed?